Videos and articles
Thoughts about therapy, therapists, and the therapeutic journey.
Videos
Articles
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Gratitude for your existence
Read more: Gratitude for your existenceIn addition to learning to love, I believe another goal of therapy is discovering gratitude. Not “shut up and put up with it” gratitude, but…
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Why don’t therapists say much about themselves?
Read more: Why don’t therapists say much about themselves?If a therapist were to say, for example, “My father died ten years ago,” that apparently simple fact could have complex and unpredictable effects on…
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“I don’t feel anger”
Read more: “I don’t feel anger”Anger is one of our four primary emotions – joy, sadness, fear, anger. Yet it is spoken of as if it’s absence is acceptable –…
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What’s the goal of therapy?
Read more: What’s the goal of therapy?The answer I prefer to this question is: that therapy is about learning to love. Not romantic love, but the slow, perhaps effortful movement from…
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What does it mean to be avoidant?
Read more: What does it mean to be avoidant?“Avoidant” is commonly used to describe someone who steers clear of closeness, intimacy, exposure, the messiness of relationships. That’s accurate enough as a behavioural description.…
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Relentless hope for a magical person
Read more: Relentless hope for a magical personSomething I see often in the consulting room is a particular kind of hope. A relentless hope, as psychoanalyst Martha Stark puts it. It’s the…
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Is it possible to change?
Read more: Is it possible to change?Is it possible to change? Yes. But paradoxically, you change not by attempting to become someone else, but by becoming more yourself. A concept in…
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“I’m not good enough”
Read more: “I’m not good enough”Many clients have a quiet but deeply held belief: I’m not good enough. Where does it come from? Almost universally, this originates in childhood. When…
